I don't care anymore.
I don't care what you'll think if you read this.
I don't fucking care!

I know I've promised to keep this the happiest place on earth, but hell to that, I'm miserable!
But I'm not miserable all the time, everyday. No.
It's just when the reality comes and punch me in the face and I see no solution, no light, no hope.
I miss you.
God how I miss you.
And sometimes it hurts so bad facing the fact that you're not there for me, I mean you're there. But you're not THERE.
Yesterday, after you said you were coming to Coimbra just to see me, I type "I Love You" without thinking, unconsciously.
 When I realized what I had typed, something made my stomach hurt.
And I cried.
I cried like the day we broke up.
I'm not miserable all the time. It's just when I realize I had an empty bed side that will remain empty, a pain in my stomach that can't be healed and a whole in my heart that can't be filled.